Filed under: The Overachiever

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, things are about to get a little easier.

Between Ghostcrawler's blog post and Zarhym's additional notes on the forums yesterday, we now know a lot more about how account-wide achievements are going to work. No preamble this week, folks -- let's get right to it. A lot of questions were answered, but there are still a few unknowns.

Question: Will all of my achievement titles be accessible from every toon?

Answer: Probably, but there may be restrictions on their use.

I've been looking to farm some nice titles out to alts that have done absolutely nothing to deserve them (who isn't?), and what we do know is that Blizzard's looking for a way to do this. From how GC's written about it, I'm wondering if this might actualy go live after Mists of Pandaria has already shipped, because Blizzard's talked about the technical limitations previously, and it's apparently still at work on it.

We also don't know when these titles will become universally accessible. For example, your level 1 monk may not get access to Kingslayer until level 80 or Defender of a Shattered World until level 85, which is sensible insofar as my level 1 monk was not in much of a position to save anyone with Jab as the full extent of her repertoire.

For now, put this firmly in the category of "Probably going to happen, but don't expect a firm date."

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, you might as well come back next week.

So here's the deal: This article's kinda stupid. I really wanted to write about pet battling this week, because if the idea of running around the world raining destruction on everything with a small animal of indeterminate origin doesn't appeal to you, then you are probably a communist. But pet battling has been functionally disabled on the Mists of Pandaria beta (you can only access it at level 90, and the current level restriction is 88), so all I can really do is nose around and dream of what's to come. If you want to skip this week's outing and return at a time when we're doing something a little more relevant or useful, I don't blame you. Go with blessings.

And yet I still really wanna write about pet battling.

My first pet in the game was a prairie dog sold by Halpa in Thunder Bluff. My next was a Black Tabby, which I camped Ambermill for the better part of two days to get off a now-vanished mob known as the Dalaran Spellscribe. While I have amassed in excess of 150 pets since then, the original two have accompanied me across the world into the darkest depths of the ocean and to the top of the highest mountain peaks. They were there when my guild sent Kil'Jaeden packing. They were there when I was alone in the darkness. They were there when the Lich King fell. They were there when I got my ass handed to me by a slightly less cooperative version of the Lich King.

And by God, they're going to start pulling their fricking weight around here.

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, children are the future, damn them.

Being the dedicated achievement hunter that I was and am (why else would I be writing this column?), I worked tirelessly on all the requirements for What A Long Strange Trip It's Been when the achievement system debuted in patch 3.0.2. This even extended to planning months in advance for the Brewmaster title before achievements even hit the game. My efforts were coming along quite nicely until Children's Week, when an unstoppable force (me) hit an immovable object (School of Hard Knocks) -- and physics being less predictable than our teachers led us to believe, it turns out that bodies in motion do not always remain so.

For an entire year, the only thing that stood between me and that purple proto-drake was that one damn achievement. And every year, I return to this guide and flinch at having to think of it again. So let's do this, folks, and then we shall speak no more of it for another year. This is actually a great and fantastically fun holiday, with the exception of that one thing.

The Children's Week achievements and the meta For The Children are part of the year-long What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been, so you will want to get these done if you're working toward a Violet Proto-Drake. This year the holiday runs from Sunday, April 29 to Saturday, May 5.

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, the calm before the storm.

We're between two major holidays at the moment, and frankly, both of them are kind of problematic. I was accustomed to thinking of Noblegarden as a happy event with a not-too-onerous time commitment, but after fighting off a horde of egg hunters in competition for the 500 Noblegarden Chocolates necessary for the Swift Springstrider, I'm not so sure that's the case anymore. Under the worst-case scenario, some poor bastard new to the holiday who wants all the achievements and the mount could find himself hunting a whopping 865 chocolates.

"But you don't need the mount," you point out. "Getting the Strider is entirely optional."

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Oh, and next Thursday, we're on to Children's Week. I think we all know what to expect during Children's Week.

So you know what? Today we're going to do something dumb, silly, and fun to make ourselves feel better before Children's Week hits and we lose all faith in humanity again. We don't often talk about tiny, one-off achievements in this column, but I think we can afford to make an exception. Yes, folks -- it's time to make some cookies.

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, a harvest of eggs, chocolate bunnies, and general practitioners to cluck over our cholesterol numbers.

I still think this is the single greatest holiday screenshot I have ever captured.

Noblegarden is one of WoW's less stressful holidays overall -- which is good, as you'll have to deal with Children's Week later in the month. Noblegarden will run this year from Sunday, April 8 (this Sunday) until Sunday, April 15 (well, technically Saturday at 11:59 pm server time, if your calendar reads the same as mine). If you've never done Noblegarden before or only done its pre-2009 version, be aware that Noble Gardener (the holiday's meta) is part of the year-long What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been achievement rewarding the 310% speed Violet Proto-Drake.

The one new thing that I can confirm in 2012 is the presence of the Swift Springstrider, which can be purchased for 500 (!) Noblegarden chocolate from holiday vendors or found randomly in eggs. (However, nobody knows what the drop rate is like. I would bet on "bad.") This is pretty much the same deal as the Swift Lovebird from Love Is In the Air -- it's a way to keep players who already have the meta involved with the holiday.

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, we wonder how to make more work for ourselves.

Not everything in the game is destined to be an achievement, but every so often you find yourself doing something and thinking, "Yes, I deserve 10 useless points for this." This feeling is most likely to occur while playing after a few beers and having one's sense of artificial outrage over the state of the world heightened for a bit, but sometimes you really find yourself wondering why demonstrable accomplishments in the game aren't actually achievements.

When I started writing this article, I toyed with the idea of including a list of (largely snarky) possibilities like the following:

• Pugging an Outland dungeon that doesn't have a death knight in it. (Don't tell me that luck doesn't play a role in any achievements, because we all know it does.)
• Successfully skipping Baine trash without anyone butt-pulling a mob pack and dying.
• Participating in two hours of trade chat without the word anal appearing once.
• Leading a raiding guild for one month or more without suffering a psychotic breakdown.

But these aren't achievements. They're myths, like unicorns and balanced budgets. Let us try to examine more reasonable suggestions.

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, if you're not the 1% already, you will be soon.

By their very nature, most achievements either directly or indirectly cost you gold or are at least associated with some extremely unpleasant trips to the Auction House. We had a small discussion on just this point last week. But there are always exceptions, and there's a set of achievements in the game that will earn you a healthy nest egg if you care to go looking for them.

From my perspective, stuff like Got My Mind On My Money doesn't count, as it's just a reflection of how much gold you're looting in the game and not in itself a means of earning income. I'm after the stuff from which you almost can't help but make gold.

Concerning general achievements: Perhaps not surprisingly (given the overrepresentation of general achievements in last week's The OverAchiever: Got 100,000+ gold handy?), you're going to have a tough time finding a way to make money here. Most general achievements either cost you something (e.g., Into the Wild Blue Yonder) or are otherwise divorced from the game's financial side (e.g., Friend or Fowl?). I actually can't find a single achievement here that doesn't meet one of those two conditions. Look elsewhere, folks. You will not be making money from the general achievements slot.

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, if you're not the 99% already, you will be soon.

Perhaps today's title is a bit misleading, so allow me to get to the point: These are all really frakking expensive achievements.

We talked about this two years ago in OverAchiever: Straight to the poorhouse, and everything on that list is still valid with the exception of Dual Talent Specialization (once 1,000 gold and now 10). Back then, my criterion for what constituted an expensive achievement was anything that cost 1,000 gold or more. These days, there are even more ways to empty your wallet in pursuit of points, but I have to wonder: Is 1,000 gold a lot these days? It's still a lot of gold, but is it a lot of gold? That's up to you. I think it's just enough for most players to consider something a serious, if not necessarily crippling, purchase. But don't worry: If you're looking for crippling purchases, I've got those here too.

This list won't necessarily cover every expensive pursuit in the game for the simple reason that not all of them are achievements, but if you've been sitting on a pile of gold wondering what to do with it, why not go get yourself some extra points? Who doesn't love suddenly finding themselves bereft of funds?

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, the phrase "low-hanging fruit" comes to mind.

While I collect suggestions for our next article on evil achievements, I thought it might be amusing to turn toward achievements that are considerably easier to get. The 17 achievements (and one Feat of Strength) in today's column are all things that you can do without any real preparation.

I'm going to ignore the super-obvious picks (Shave and a Haircut, anyone? You don't need me to tell you about that) and head straight for the more esoteric stuff. I'm also going to bypass extremely expensive achievements that, while quick, will bankrupt the average player, so nothing like Grand Ice Mammoth. (Looks like I need to update OverAchiever: Straight to the poorhouse, come to think of it.) I briefly considered including achievements that you can only get at the end of a long quest chain or reputation grind but canned that idea too. For example, Skyshattered is relatively easy these days with a 410% mount and a little practice, but you'll only be able to access it after a quest grind, so nuts to that. I also eliminated You'll Feel Right As Rain, Critter Gitter, and Fungal Frenzy for that reason. They're all easy, but you can't just toddle off to get them unless you've already put some work in.

These are all achievements that the average player -- assuming a friend or two, a tiny bit of luck, and a little time -- can just run out and get whenever he or she wants.

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, the abyss stares back.

Almost two years ago, I wrote a series of articles for OverAchiever that turned out to be one of the most popular themes the column's ever visited: evil achievements. It turns out that a lot of folks care deeply about achievements that have been -- allow me to quote myself -- "milked from the angry teat of Satan himself."

Now, it has to be said that all achievements are technically optional. No one is forcing you to do anything, why do you play this game anyway if you aren't having fun, yadda yadda ... all true. But I assume you're reading The OverAchiever because you really like achievements and you think they add something to the game. (Either that, or you're just reading because you're bored, but that's fine too.) Personally, I don't think players really mind difficult achievements or even achievements that they have to peck away at over an extended period of time. But there's a line between an achievement that is genuinely difficult on its own merits and one that makes you privately think the developers want you dead.

So with that in mind, how would we reconstruct a list of evil achievements in 2012 during the Cataclysm era?

You can find the original series here if you're interested in a trip down Memory Lane, although I'll give you a quick rundown on them past the cut:

• Evil Achievements: Spotlight on Justicar/Conqueror, The Immortal, and Accomplished Angler
• Evil Achievements: The 25 most evil achievements, #25-16
• Evil Achievements: The 25 most evil achievements, #15-6
• Evil Achievements: The 25 most evil achievements, #5-1

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, we discover that love is not free.

Hot on the heels of the Lunar Festival comes another WoW holiday! Love is in the Air returns this year from Sunday, Feb. 5 through Sunday, Feb. 19. Personally, I can't see too many players logging into the game on Super Bowl Sunday for the purpose of celebrating love and all its many-splendored things, but to each his own. After many tweaks to the holiday, it's definitely one of the less annoying and RNG-riddled outings from the What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been meta. Before you ask -- yep, it's required if you're still on the warpath for your Violet Proto-Drake. The finished holiday meta will also reward the title the Love Fool.

If you're completely new to Love Is In the Air, you'll probably want to read our FAQ on the holiday. Otherwise, we'll be dealing with the holiday achievements here. There are only two optional ones if you're going for the meta, so I've listed all the ones you'll need first.

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, some holidays are easier to survive than others.

I've been getting a lot of comments and feedback from players recently over troublesome elder placement during the Lunar Festival (the one next to the Razor Hill flightmaster seems to be a particular issue -- more on this in a future article), and it spurred me to start thinking about problematic holiday achievements as a whole. Thing is, Blizzard's really put a lot of effort into its holidays over the past few years, and most of them are much less time-consuming and frustrating then they used to be.

So how many really troublesome holiday achievements are there these days, anyhow? Most of them didn't figure prominently in our evil achievements series (with one sterling exception), but I'll grant that not all of them are sunshine and roses.

But then of course, there's that one. Yes, that one -- the achievement shat into existence by Satan himself onto a bed of Ed Hardy clothing with bad Japanese pop music playing in the background. You know the one I'm talking about.

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. This week, we burn through a lot of shoe leather.

The Lunar Festival is one of WoW's more fun and forgiving holidays, and this year it runs from Sunday, Jan. 22 until Sunday, Feb. 12. That's right, folks; you've got three weeks to get everything done, which is definitely a good thing if you're new to the holiday and unfamiliar with the amount of travel time it requires. The basics of the holiday involve talking to a number of elders to honor them, receiving Coins of Ancestry in return, and then using the coins to purchase holiday items. The To Honor One's Elders meta-achievement is also a requirement for What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been, so if you're still after a Violet Proto-Drake, make sure you get this done.

The Lunar Festival is definitely not one of Azeroth's more difficult holidays, but it's time-consuming if you're starting from scratch due to the number of NPCs you'll need to hunt down. However, it's also a good time to do World Explorer and Surveying the Damage for just that reason.

Every Thursday, The Overachiever shows you how to work toward those sweet achievement points. Today, we are still searching for the Crawling Claw.

Wow. OK, a lot of people care about archaeology, or at least about improving archaeology. Last week's OverAchiever, How archaeology could get a lot worse (and why we hope it won't), spurred a ton of discussion and was kindly linked on the forums as well.

Players wrote in with a lot of their own suggestions, criticisms, and comments, and a lot of them were so good that I honestly felt that WoW's most widely despised profession probably merited another look with those in mind.